15 July, 2006

Sunday Funnies

Expressions for Women on High-Stress Days

  1. You - Off my planet!
  2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
  3. Well this day was a total waste of makeup.
  4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  5. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
  6. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 25 years.
  7. Allow me to introduce myselves.
  8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
  11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you were not asleep
  13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
  14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
  16. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
  17. Can I just trade this job for what's behind door #2
  18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  19. Chaos, panic, an ddisorder--my work here is done.
  20. Earth is full. Go home.
  21. Is it time for your medication, or mine?
  22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.[source unknown]

Somehow I couldn’t help but think of Princess Crabby, especially while reading numbers 1 through 9... ;)


Some guidelines for the software engineers and programmers among us...
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. (John F. Woods)
In any software development, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail... there will be one solution, simple, obvious, and highly visable to everyone else. [source unknown]
Weinberg's Law: If builders built buildings the way most programmers write programs...

The first woodbecker that came along would destroy civilization!
And as for me...
My mind is so fragmented by random excursions into the wilderness of abstractions and incipient ideas that the practical purposes of the moment are often submerged into my consciousness and I don't know what I'm doing. [source unknown]