Stupid Civilian Tricks

I'm sitting at the USO reception desk last week when these two pencil-necked, sucken-chested, snot-nosed little 20-somethings with minimal muscle tone amble in. I give them the benefit of the doubt and take them for recruits, but they say they aren't. When I ask for ID, one of them hangs back a little nervously while the other immediately hands me his drivers' license:

"No, military ID."

"We don't have our IDs. We just got out of training and they're sending 'em in the mail."

Yeah, right... I'm starting to think this could be fun. A Marine Sergeant decked out in his dress blues happens to be visiting at he same time, and out of the corner of my eye I see him inch over to me to better observe this little drama unfold. So I ask where they're stationed.

They look confused. "We're coming back from leave."

"Yes, but where are you headed?"

"Back to base."

"Yes, [idiots!], where have you been assigned, though? What's your duty station?"

They continue to look confused.

"What's your base called?!"

The first one glances nervously at the Sgt and then back to me. "MCR.... uhhh... CU.... uhmmm... uhmmmm.... "

I let them keep hanging themselves.

"MJ... uh... UCMJ!"

I'm amazed, "UCMJ??!" The kid who'd hung back stage-whispers to his friend, "No, you idiot, MCRD!" as he starts to inch back to the front door.

I turn and look at at the Sgt, just stunned at the stupidity of these two. He merely gazes at them and the hesitant kid backing up starts to look downright panicked. The Sgt lets the mood develop another heartbeat, then growls in the finest DI tradition, with just a slight lean in towards them, "Get the hell outta here." They both turn and run like scared cockroaches.

Well, I suppose I should give them a nod for at least having the guts to try something that stupid, haha!