Did I get your attention? Good.
I've stumbled across several articles lately about sex, abortion and relationships/marriage. I haven't had the time to write about them in the manner I'd like, so I'm tossing them all out here...
This one especially had an impact. It's ostensibly about a man's evolving thinking on the ethics of abortion as an atheist, but it becomes much, much more. I'm still pondering its implications:
It was the poetic biology of the thing that snared me.That barely scratches the surface of the essay. You'll really want to read the whole thing.
Because I had some medical training, I knew the biology of sexual intercourse pretty well. The man doesn't become a father in the instant of orgasm. Indeed, it may not be for several days, he may not be in the country, he may not even be on the same side of the world when it happens. He becomes a father, but he does so long after the act is completed.
Precisely because the act of sex itself does not create anything, the act itself becomes its own symbol.
On a level of much less intellectual rigor is this ridiculous article: "In Love? It's Not Enough to Keep a Marriage, Study Finds." Another one of those "d'oh!!!" articles. But what caught my attention was that the headline (once again) didn't reflect the most interesting parts of the article. What a surprise to find out which factors impede a lasting marriage (not!):
It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.
...with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage — either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship — having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.
Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.
...some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves...
Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate...
I am reminded of a friend who once said that after a certain age (preceded by a great deal of rebellion against the values he'd been raised with), he realized that the "old ways" had lasted so long for a reason: they worked.
In a related vein, this is what Evangelicals and other conservative Christian young people are told as they begin dating seriously:
...Couples who live together before they are engaged have a higher chance of getting divorced than those who wait until they are married to live together, or at least wait until they are engaged. In addition, couples who lived together before engagement and then married, reported a lower satisfaction in their marriages.
Believe it or not, research supports it.
It's such a great thing we're all so open-minded, non-judgmental, and free to pursue whatever our "hearts" desire, isn't it... Score another one for the Old Fogies.