Dark

Just a litany of sad things that I need to get out of my system...

I'm honestly scared about my country's future. I'm not expert enough to know the right policy and strategic decisions, but I can't escape the growing feeling that there are two very menacing developmentsout there: 1) A surprisingly-large segment of politicians on all sides are playing politics with some very serious aspects of the war against terrorists/militants/fanatics who want to kill us. 2) The media's increasing incompetence and inability to tell a straight story; It's gotten to the point that I am daily stunned at the omissions and outright disinformation in the "most respected" media outlets.

School started this year without me as a teacher or student for the first time since 1996. It was more disturbing than I thought it would be. I feel like the rhythm of my life is "off." Not only do I miss the children, but I feel almost guilty that I let the peripheral aspects of the job beat me out of the true part of my job--having in impact on the lives of my students. But I'm not a teacher anymore. My license even expired... My hairdresser asked me about it yesterday and I found myself having to change the subject because tears threatened. I think I'm a bit lost living outside the rhythms of the school calendar.

Somehow my walls are paper thin today and I'm picking up on everyone else's emotions. Not good when I'm interacting with friends or family who are stressed, frustrated, worried, etc.

And it doesn't help that it's a cloudy day in SoCal!

Ehh... I'll just sit here and soundlessly cry for no discernable reason, haha!

Nah, I'll pick myself up off the floor, go cycling and hopefully shake off this dark dog...