17 July, 2007

Too Much

I was strong and told the BF just over a week ago that it was permanently and irrevocably over, even though we parted on tender terms.

I've coped pretty well with the disappointment not of being turned down for an incredible job I interviewed for over the span of 2.5 months, but of having the position rewritten beneath my feet. And of the consequences not getting the job has on a personal level.

I've kept it together as I continued to wrestle with my bank over the equivalent of more than an entire paycheck.

I've spent six months biting my tongue about processes, procedures, and condescension on the job (condescension that results in bile I just swallow while I think the things I'd rather SAY). Yesterday... well, you don't want to know what happened.

But all together? I'm not sure how long before I completely... well, it's not gonna be pretty. If I ever needed a "sanity day..." But as the Ex once put it (only half-teasing), "You don't owe them anything. You have a work ethic or something?"

Yeah, I do. Staffing arrangements are such that the absence of anyone is a burden to the rest. So I'm headed out the door. Prayers and positive thoughts for the day would be helpful.

Oh, and the cat peed on my work shoes this morning.