07 September, 2007

Feminism, Love and Patriotism

In my email circle yesterday, we were talking about men (particularly military men) and the constant pull they seem to feel between the personal satisfaction of a deeply-valued career and the knowledge of its family impact. The talk then turned to whether or not women feel that pull, a question asked by a man in our circle.

A brilliant wife of a career military man (with a professional career of her own now that her children are raised) offered up the following answer, one of the best testaments to love and true maturity I've ever read:

We make decisions, not always easy ones. Sometimes part of us doesn't lie easy with them, but ultimately they are ours to make and there are always tradeoffs. My husband knows I could have been anything I wanted to, but I gave it all up to be his wife.

There are many times when that was not easy for me. But he did not make me do that.

All the same, I often wished things had been more balanced, that I'd had the chance to do some of the things I wanted to. It just didn't work out that way. The needs of the [military] and our children came first and I couldn't be a GOOD mother and a good lawyer, for instance.

So, I chose, not just in part because I thought the country needed what he does more than it needed another lawyer.

I'm going to be interested in what kind of reaction this post gets...